To move forward, let it go
I’ve been avoiding writing this post for a while, because writing things makes it real for me. But now is the time. In January I had three weeks to myself whilst my children were on a fantastic holiday with their father. This gave me a lot of time to think about 2016, and what I achieved, what gave me joy, and what caused stress in my life. It was time for me to take stock of what was working in my life, and what was essentially a fantasy or a dream that I had wanted to work, but actually no longer did. 2016 was a great year, however, I felt like a mouse stuck on a treadmill, trying to do too many things, and follow too many adventures. I worked harder and longer than ever, and made the least amount of money ever. Yes, you read that right. I went completely backwards financially in 2016. Tough decisions needed to be made and they have.
The biggest decision for me is to acknowledge that the word “freedom” is no longer a core value. Or at least the interpretation of the word freedom. I was defining freedom in relation to freedom of travel and putting travel and the sense of freedom that it gave me as the number one focus of my life. What I learnt is that we are always free, and that freedom is a way of existing, not something that is obtained by getting on a plane.
I thought that travel writing and photography would bring me great freedom and joy, and enable and empower others to travel more and achieve the same freedom. Last year I realised that with two small children and 80% custody, that kind of freedom was not a priority. My kids love routine and stability. They love their friends and their school and are not willing to travel unless they are with friends or family. They don’t want to travel the world at the moment. On school holidays yes, but not as a primary lifestyle. I also became tired of looking for photographic opportunities and thinking primarily about blogs and what needed to be written, rather than truly enjoying the beauty of a location when I went on holidays.
I realised that photographing individuals was no longer my passion. I was great at it, and I had a fantastic time doing it, however, I was not passionate about it, and therefore attracted very few clients in an overcrowded ocean of photographers who are willing to take on a job no matter the income received.
So, I have made the call to take my travel writing and photography back a notch. I’ll still write and take photos and post them here, (you can’t take the wanderlust out of me), and I will certainly write for publications who invite me to, but it won’t be done as my main area of concentration. The original reason I started taking photographs was for mental health- to notice my dark days during my separation and to train my brain to notice shades of grey and eventually colour and then the brilliance and beauty of life. This is what I want to continue sharing with people- the beauty of life and the interesting and sometime surprising things that you notice when you pay attention. So I think this direction is returning to my core beliefs and the true essence of my “why” when taking photographs.
So what did work for me in 2016? Essential oils. I had a really fascinating year absorbing and using essential oils. I was able to help a number of people with their anxiety (including mid panic attack via the phone) and I overcame my own panic attacks. My health improved dramatically as a result of using the oils and I learned how to use the power of neuroplasticity to anchor the oils to achieve mental and emotional states that required in any situation. I realised how my personal experience with anxiety, stress and overcoming the struggles that I have been through over the past 8 years can actually truly help people going through their own struggles. It is this process of struggle, and willingness to learn and try just about anything to overcome it, that creates true transformation. It is this process and transformation that I would like to help others achieve.
I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has encouraged me to follow my dreams, and assure you that this is just a curve in the journey, not a dead end. If you would like any information about how essential oils can help you through your struggles please visit my website and read through my experiences and the tools that I recommend. Please reach out, if I can be of assistance.
I have a brand spanking new Facebook page- come visit.