Anger after divorce

Angry?

Angry.  This morning I lost my temper after receiving a text message from my ex husband. The circumstances are not what is important, however, what surprised me, was that after 6 years, I am still emotionally triggered by certain things that he does. And today, was a storm in a tea-cup. I was ready with the blame and the frustration and the anger, and for once, it was not water off a duck’s back. That’s life isn’t it. Feelings creep up on you, and unresolved they explode, if you are not mindful of them.

Often in the middle of a disturbing emotion, we lose sense of perspective and objectivity. Anger is a message that one of our fundamental values has been compromised, and it insults and irritates us. The extent to which it does, sometimes correlates to the extent of our anger. Other times, its a lack of sleep, distraction and misinterpretation, and those stories we have in our head.  You know the ones that go like this.

I can’t believe he said that!

What does he think I am?

How selfish!

expletive expletive

It’s his son for xxx sake.

What a stingy bastard.

 

Now the above may or may not be true, but it is also possible that what was said, was simply interpreted in your mind according to your perspective, and isn’t what they meant at all. A good test is to show or explain to an impartial person and if they say, no, I don’t think they meant that, then it is highly likely that you overreacted. Don’t shame yourself over it. Just learn from the experience.

There is nothing wrong with anger as an emotion, and repressing it serves no purpose other than to create mental and physical disharmony. However, we need to find ways to become mindful of our anger as it rises, so that we can find ways to express it and then move forward.

For me, if I can be mindful enough to access my essential oils, I can calm down fast enough to change my perspective, get a little space and not overreact.

Next month on my order I’m getting Cardamom essential oil, how about you?

 

Angry

For further information about navigating emotions like anger after a divorce, please visit this page, which includes examples of blends you can use to help you with anger and other turbulent emotions.