June 27

Past Life Regression: I am better without love. Life is easier without love.

Take a trip back to a past life with Katische as she discovers the royal life where she encountered heartbreak on such a scale that she made vows that would impact her lives forever. I am better without love. Life is easier without love. 

Just to name a few. Did you catch them all?

Warning: lots of swearing, heavy breathing and crying and distress in this episode.

The podcast version of this contains my personal intro to this episode and why I chose to share it with you. The video version does not.

Katische Haberfield:Transcript:

Season 3 Episode 1.

Katische Haberfield: I feel great resistance.

Cindy Porter: Okay. Then what we're going to do instead, is we are going to go back to your Akashic records room and sit back down at the table

, and let know when you get back there,

Do you feel any resistance to going back there?

Katische Haberfield: No, I feel like

It's ludicrous, but I feel like there's like, it's not possible, but I feel like there's an angel hovering above me with a cloud and a shower.

Cindy Porter: You're being cleansed.

Still giving you healing. So just enjoy it.

Take it all in.

Katische Haberfield: Giving me a towel to dry down like a fluffy, ridiculous white hotel towel,

like "welcome to the spa". Okay. I'm back in the room.

Cindy Porter: What I'm gonna do is I am going to ask your spirit guide to bring a record forward that is what they obviously want you to see. Now, there must be something or we would've been able to leave the Akashic records. Because you felt the resistance, there must be something else they want to show you . So we'll sit here and wait while your guide grabs the next record and brings it to the table.

Katische Haberfield: It's bigger. And it's like, you know, the lion's fruit cake that people try and tell you at Christmas? It's dense.

It could be used as a door stop.

Cindy Porter: Excellent.

I need you to put your hand on the book and let me know how it feels.

Katische Haberfield: Regal

Cindy Porter: Awesome. That's a good feeling

Katische Haberfield: It's got gemstones and velvet.

Cindy Porter: How beautiful, wow.

Katische Haberfield: Purple. And it's very arrogant.

Cindy Porter: That's okay. That's okay.

Katische Haberfield: It's like I had a Bedazzler

and stuck as many gems as I could on it to make it feel very important.

Cindy Porter: Ok now I am going to ask them to open the book to the page you need to see.

Without great contrast our soul cannot grow.

Katische Haberfield: I know, People,

they hate me so much,

so many. Fuck. There's so many,

so many YouTube videos about me.

Cindy Porter: You're are loved you are source energy. You are one..

Katische Haberfield: He had a different plan for this life I wasn't supposed to be king.

Just wanna, I just wanna say, fuck my brother. Sorry. But he, he died

and I was supposed to continue the monastic studies and have the chance to do what I wanted to do after that dreadful life.

That he died

after his wedding.

Cindy Porter: Breathe through it..

Katische Haberfield: Okay. Let's

go. I know what it contains anyway.

Cindy Porter: Okay, Are you sure you want to go in there?

Katische Haberfield: Yes.

Cindy Porter: Again, look down at your feet

and describe for me what you see?

Katische Haberfield: Ponty stupid fucking shoes of a king

and the stockings. The white stockings. Yeah. And the stupid garter. Like they wear my, make my children in my current life wear to school at oh, I,

I think I started that vain fucking trend

constricted the blood. Yeah, sorry.

Cindy Porter: Breathe through.. Have a look around you what do you see?

Katische Haberfield: Banquet table

Cindy Porter: Are there people there or just you?

Katische Haberfield: The the room

is full of people.

And the poor jester is trying to be funny. I have a vomit bucket beside me,

so I can throw up after each course to make more room, charming, hey?

Cindy Porter: How do you feel in yourself

in this lifetime?

Katische Haberfield: Permanently

angry and suspicious.

and aware of the plots

that all the people had, their fakeness, I can't stand people who are fake and I am surrounded by fake people.

No one is real.

Cindy Porter: Okay.

Katische Haberfield: No true friends.

Only my dogs, my horses are true friends.

Even my wives are not really friends.

Cindy Porter: So in this room with all these people do you feel alone?

Katische Haberfield: I feel like I'm constantly

manipulating and being manipulated. Like it's a joke, it's a game. And I just want to be alone with my books in my bedroom,

and I want to ride and have fun. I don't want to

pour over the finances. These people over here, they bother me with all the accounts.

Cindy Porter: Okay.

Katische Haberfield: My father was a miser and I don't want to be like him.

Cindy Porter: Yep.

Katische Haberfield: I always want to have fun.

Cindy Porter: Can you ask yourself, ask your past life self, what it is you need to know and take from this past life?

Katische Haberfield: So I won't to allow myself to have fun in this life as a punishment for not taking it seriously.

Cindy Porter: Ok, all right, what we are going to do now is we are going to move forward along this lifetime just before you passed in this lifetime.

Can you see yourself there?

Katische Haberfield: Yes.

Cindy Porter: I need you to ask your past life self if you have made any vows in this lifetime, as you've passed.

Katische Haberfield: To never be manipulated again,

To never allow the company of shallow and distrustful people.

Cindy Porter: Yep.

Katische Haberfield: To never allow people to question my authority.

To not trust women

because nobody really loves me.

Ooh, they're all just here for my money.


I am better without them. I am better without love. Life is easier without

love because I tried and I tried to give gifts and woo, and do all the things you're supposed to do to woo women.

And they still betrayed me and did not see my inner child and the true me. They only saw the stories. So therefore, I cannot trust anyone ever again. They have broken my heart and they deserved, oh, that's awful. They deserved to lose their head.

Cindy Porter: Breathe

Katische Haberfield: I do not feel repentance for what I did to them. Although I know it was cruel and harsh. They got what they just deserved. Even if I know it was bad to not, it was bad. I have suffered, even if I have been cast as the villan, I suffered more than them, I always suffer in every lifetime.

As a modern day, people would say, "fuck my life".

They can all go to hell.

Cindy Porter: Okay.

Remind your past life self that you are loved. And I am going to get you to say your goodbyes, and we are going to step back through to your Akashic records room. Let me know when you get back.

Katische Haberfield: I just tried to steal a jewel from the front of it. Why is that ?

I'll put it back.

They can stick it on


Cindy Porter: Your spirit guides will take care of that later. Call in the Violet Flame, right here in the room.

Wash that over that record over you.

Break those vows that made to yourself, cut those vow chords, you do not have

to always suffer through every lifetime. You can trust people.

You are worthy of love.

You're not always going to be heart broken.You are not going to be manipulated.

You are never alone.

You are


Angels are surrounding you.

Katische Haberfield: Why does Joshua kneel beside me? I should be kneeling beside him.

He's offering me something in his hands. A statue.

Cindy Porter: Can you see?

Katische Haberfield: His mother?

Cindy Porter: Her gift?

Katische Haberfield: Yeah.

Cindy Porter: To show that you are loved.

Katische Haberfield: He's walked out now.

He wants me to follow.

Cindy Porter: Please follow.

You are

being taken

to a healing temple.

Katische Haberfield: Yeah. I wanna go back in there, but he says it's enough. No more can't bear anymore today. He says,

Cindy Porter: yeah,

there is only so much that the human part of us can take.

Katische Haberfield: Yes. He says I have to not go in there because I've tried to punish myself to see another record. I need to go over there with him to not go in there. They're shutting that door or putting angels in front of it. So I can't

Cindy Porter: reasons are there for your protection. Follow him..

Katische Haberfield: Okay.

Cindy Porter: Where

is he leading you?

Katische Haberfield: The

To the fountain again. different fountain have to step into it.

Cindy Porter: Yep.

Katische Haberfield: It's like a, like fountain at the Trevi, like the Trevi fountain, but different.

Cindy Porter: You need to bathe in it completely.

Katische Haberfield: Yeah.


I see. It's like baptism, he's in it too. He's got a dish like out made out of coconut bark..

He's pouring it over my head.

Cindy Porter: Mm-hmm

Katische Haberfield: like baptism.

Yes. But I also see someone else, not in the fountain, but beside the fountain and it's his friend and my friend

Buddha Shakyamuni because he knows I have been conflicted with the Buddhist lives, the Christian lives,

He says not to be conflicted anymore. It is all one anyway. And I'm not betraying either Jeshua or the Buddha

they're friends. Anyway, they both learned off each other. And I didn't betray them by any of the lifetimes as Gregorian Monk or Buddhist monk.

He's gone now, Buddha's gone. I continue in the fountain.

Cindy Porter: Let it wash

over you..

Heal those vows we have


Katische Haberfield: Shiva.


seems ridiculous but they are there too.

Cindy Porter: It's not ridiculous..

Katische Haberfield: Lakshmi puts coins in the water.

Shiva gives hand towell

face towell

Cindy Porter: They are

coming to

show you

that all of it is part of the one true source..

Katische Haberfield: Lotus flower, the water standing on Lotus flowers, not crushing them. My feet are in amongst the roots

and Jesus becomes the fountain.

He cries water tears, my tears.

He cries for me. So I don't need to cry. He's purifying. So nice. Such a nice man.

Thank you. I see

his heart.

His hands.

Cindy Porter: Can you see his unconditional love?

Katische Haberfield: Yes. My heart.

Cindy Porter: You are worthy.

Katische Haberfield: He puts it to my heart to make me feel worthy.

Shiva's gone. Lakshmi's gone. No, no one

else. It's done. Angel there. Big one, Michael. Okay.

Cindy Porter: Archangel Michael.

Katische Haberfield: Yep. Yeah. Always there

Cindy Porter: mm-hmm

Katische Haberfield: always there.

Okay. Jesus has to go now. Jesus, Joshua, Jesus. Joshua. Doesn't matter. Don't need to get it right. Not right. Not wrong. Same.

In Michael's time to go, time to go. Why? Why wings on my back though?

Hm, angelic love of something, something, something not to be real, really real now, something,

something Angelic past, something to do with origin of soul. Not now another time,

time to go

bright, bright white light in my eyes. Time to go out the doors.

Cindy Porter: The Angel's are saying goodbye.

Katische Haberfield: Yes.

Cindy Porter: Let me know when you're back out on the steps.

Katische Haberfield: Yeah. Doors closed. There was golden all around doors. Golden sealed shut.

Okay. Michael kiss

on head. Michael gone.

Cindy Porter: We're going to slowly start coming back. Start sensing the chair that you're sitting in. Start wriggling,

just feeling.

And on the count of three, you're gonna feel wide awake and refreshed three sensing the seat that

you're sitting in, two noticing all your surrounding one.

Katische Haberfield: That was intense. Wasn't it?

Cindy Porter: yes.

Katische Haberfield: Sorry to do that to you.

Oh, holy shit.

Cindy Porter: Wow. Okay. I'm pretty sure that's the most intense session I've ever. I knew it was though, before we started that on the energy buzzing

Katische Haberfield: well, the two scene, the two records that I was shown are the two records that the quantum healer sh ha told me about. So they correlated they're exactly right.

Cindy Porter: Like, I like, like you have to remember that.

Katische Haberfield: I've always known it.

Cindy Porter: Yeah. But it's our, it's our human ego that see what we do in these lifetimes as right and wrong from a,

Katische Haberfield: yeah. I know perspective.

Cindy Porter: There is no such thing. It's great contrast for your soul perspective for yourself to, and stretch and expand to, to be that way. So the other, the other really important thing, I think for you to remember in your human, is that being able to have such low feeling with the anger and the self punishment, and also means that you are completely capable of such high highs, which is why I think everything is so intense for you because you have expanded your capacity so much On the negative side, you have that expansion also because there is always the opposite on the light side, which is what I believe life incarnation is all about for you spreading that light, huge light that you have inside you.

That's the, the overall message that came to me. So you really need to remember that and like reflect on that. I think there were a few really things that kept coming through apart from the self punishment was the issues of always feeling alone, abandonment .Never having good friends this, this complete isolation and everything.

And I, I think you would benefit a lot from journaling on all those topics too. Yeah, I know, I know abandonment is, is the core wound.

Katische Haberfield: Yeah. Abandonment and feeling alone and self. I, I can't say it self isolation. Yeah. Putting up walls to protect myself from people, even if I don't need protecting from them. So false barriers.

Cindy Porter: Yeah.

Katische Haberfield: Always assuming people

Cindy Porter: Are out to get you.

Katische Haberfield: Hate me. Yeah.

Cindy Porter: Yeah.

Katische Haberfield: And it's. It was funny when the cat was meowing, it was lovely.

Cindy Porter: But we need to look at these things from the higher soul perspective, because you have to remember also that it is your choice to rein reincarnate as these.

Katische Haberfield: And to learn to accept that if you know what I mean. And I have accepted who he is, except obviously you can see, there's still part of me that's fairly repulsed by it.

Cindy Porter: But that's your E that's your human ego.

Katische Haberfield: Yeah. Human ego. And I understand the cycles.

Cindy Porter: Yeah.

Katische Haberfield: But it's yeah, it's only human too.

Cindy Porter: Yeah.

We want

Katische Haberfield: still be shocked a bit by it.

Cindy Porter: exactly. That's our experience. That's what we are here for to have those experiences, to, to feel that, that otherwise to feel that contract cause otherwise. I mean, we are all source. We are all complete unconditional love. Like if we just stayed in that form, we would never expand or experience anything.

Katische Haberfield: Yeah.

Cindy Porter: So like you doing that and playing that part, cuz it is pretty much playing a role and playing that part, look at all the growth and expansion you have provided for so many people, all that you put those people through in that lifetime and everything you provided such huge growth and expansion from a soul perspective for all around you.

Katische Haberfield: Yeah.

Cindy Porter: I need to step back from that and look at it from the soul perspective up here. And see the lessons for the soul rather than a human.

Yeah, because I think that is what's gonna help you, like put all in and

Katische Haberfield: yeah,

Cindy Porter: start shining your light out there to everybody. Cause that's what you need to do. You really need to do that? Hopefully. Well not hopefully we, we cut the vows so we shouldn't be troubled by them. We should be able to start trusting people and letting people in. 

About the author 


Spiritual Regression Therapist- Past Life, Future Life and Life Between Lives Therapy infused with sound and energy healing.

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